No babies, baby!


Safe sex to us revolves around trying very hard to not get pregnant. Sadly, no current form of contraception is perfect for me. The NHS suggests a grand total of 15 options so you would think I’d find one to make me happy. I have spent endless hours researching. We have spent months discussing. But the following doesn’t please this picky bitch.

15 – Natural family planning. I don’t understand why anyone would do this. The paranoia would piss me off. Checking my vagina a hundred times a day and still having to use another form of contraception if I want to fuck during the time I’m most likely to get pregnant? No.

14 – Sterilization. If I was a little more naive, this would be appealing. Fortunately I got to see someone deal with the after affects of this. My mother has had many medical issues that resulted in her having a hysterectomy and go through the menopause early. Plus, since I’m only 25, I don’t feel quite ready to throw away the option of another child.

13 – Vasectomy. I couldn’t ask Him to do this. I wouldn’t want Him to. I feel like a guy who has been told to get his dog snipped. The thought of it doesn’t settle well with me. Plus, ouch. No.

12 – Diaphragm. I don’t like shoving my fingers in my vag. I’m sure I’d get used to it eventually but I’d actually rather not swirl my fingers around in there every time I want to fuck. On top of that, the possible increased risk of cystitis with a long history of bladder problems and kidney issues running in my family makes this a no.

11 – Cap. Pretty much the same as with the diaphragm option. I dread to think how much these things would cost me in Finland.

10 – Progesterone only pill. I tried this once and it made my body go crazy. The side effects were peculiar and I came off it when the pain had me on my knees in the supermarket one Friday morning.

9 – Female condom. I’ve never used one. I’ve never seen one. But again, I don’t like thin plastic type things going in me.

8 – The ring. This sounds like a possible option for me. If I manage to get over the idea of putting something in me and leaving it there for 21 days. I can’t help but dread the paranoia.

7 – Male condom. We used these for around three months from the start of our relationship. I wasn’t on the pill at that point and as soon as I went back on it, we stopped with the condoms. I craved the feeling of His cum in me. To me it was a deeper sign of Him owning me. With regular sex and a dick too big to fit into any regular, supermarket bought condoms, it was costing 0,61e each time we fucked.

6 – IUS. Now we’re getting into some real possible options for us long term. I dread the idea of having it fitted, though. I’ve read too many horror stories.

5 – IUD. I like this. 10 years is a good chunk of time and the price overall for this country isn’t too bad at just over 100e. But the dreaded insertion.

4 – Injection. I don’t like injections. I tend to faint and feel like I’m going to throw up and have a panic attack. But I’ve heard good things about it.

3 – The patch. Lovely. It doesn’t invade my body. I stick it on and off we go. But you have to remember to take it off on the right day and put a new one on. Fiddly.

2 – Implant. Somehow, I can get my head around this idea. It sounds reasonable. Not thinking about contraception for three years? Hell yeah. But can I be brave enough? That’s yet to be seen. This is what I will go talk to my doctor about.

1 – Combined pill. My current choice. Specifically Yasminelle. I’m currently having six weeks on the pills with one week off which is great for me. I have ongoing iron issues and randomly heavy periods so this was the best quick fix option at the time. I ran screaming from anything that suggested heavier periods and my doctor offered Yasminelle. But I’m not happy. I’m not happy with the headaches. I’m not happy with the incredible bloating I get on this. I’m not happy about the increased risk in regards to diarrhea because of my IBS. I have no control over it. I feel more and more like I’m not in control over my own contraception on the pill. I want something less fussy. I want something easy. But I also don’t want to be fainting while making breakfast.

I’m told there is something for everyone. It’s just a matter of finding it. Now more than ever I’m seriously considering getting the implant.

What form of contraception do you use? Do you use the implant? If so, what is your experience?


Written for Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked


TMI Tuesday – 22,04,2014

1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?

We are both pretty addicted to coca-cola right now. Though, it must be said that we are cutting down. It’s not purely caffeine but the sugar for me since I have fatigue issues more often than not. I would not buy a damn caffeine-infused toothbrush. I have weak enamel from when I was a kid and smashed my baby teeth out and now I spend a good amount of time and money on dental hygiene. Caffeine toothbrushes don’t cut it for me.

2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?

‘Thanks for the creepy offer but no thanks. I have a Master to take care of all those things on that list plus anything else I might come up with. He will be the only one to help me tick those things off because I belong to him. Okay? Great. Have a nice day and stop making me feel icky.’

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?

Sex in the kitchen? I don’t think we have yet. Our kitchen is rather exposed to ten or more apartments. I have, however, perched my bare ass on the kitchen counter to take a photo.

4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?

I like it, it’s like foreplay.

5. What do you love to sniff? Why?

I love to sniff His bedding. If I’m sleepy, I go to bed and nap with his bedding. If I’m going to sleep before Him, I sleep with His duvet. If I’m sad, ill or tired but have to stay up, I hug His pillow. When we lived apart, I kept His hoodie and slept with it near my face so I could smell it as I fell to sleep.


TMI Tuesday blog

kotw: Fuzzy Feelings

On Maschalagnia.


I’m ticklish and frequently paranoid about any stray hairs I’ve missed while trying to shave in front of a fogged up mirror so it’s obvious I’m not into my own armpits. They’re in no way sexual to me. I just like to keep them as smooth and irritation free as possible. Luckily, my skin is kinder to me there than my legs and my poor razor burnt crotch.


His armpits are a thing of mystery to me. From the very beginning I found comfort in His scent. I have increased sensitivity in almost every area and sense of smell is one that is included. A curse if there is food left out even for a short while, a blessing when I’m near Him. I’ve been known to move around His body, breathing in everything I can, but it’s always best around His armpits. Whether this is fresh from the shower when He smells of shower gel, after putting deodorant on or just His natural scent, I want it all. Aftershave also makes me try to inhale His face.

We have no interest in armpit fucking or licking or any of that, but His scent in that area often has me making a u-turn and breathing in nice and deep. It’s comfort. It’s Him. It’s home.


Written for Kink of the Week.

Kink of the Week

Coconut oil


Solo anal training wasn’t working. It was slow and awkward and lonely. I didn’t particularly look forward to it and really, looking back on it, things were totally wrong. The only place it happened was in the shower with a geisha plug and water based lube. The lube is lovely and all, but water based in a shower with wet fingers and plug didn’t spell success. I worked at it most days but I had to be on my hands and knees with the hard floor pissing me off. Then I’d get cold. And then I’d be tense and uncomfortable and this would cause pain. I managed to get the plug in fully and learnt some pleasant tricks along the way but I think I’ll be putting that phase well behind me. On to bigger (literally) and better things.


The instructions for me were simple and I was allowed to fiddle with them to my liking so that I was as comfortable as possible. Home alone, I played a little with the plug and ella. I tried my hand at anal douching but I don’t think I needed it. At least I know the sensation for later. A little bath with him later, I was laid on my stomach on the bed and the massage began.




Coconut oil is fantastic.


Shoulders first, down my back, near my hips. Avoiding my ass he went down to my feet and up my calves and thighs and finally to my ass. The massage was relaxing (and found a whole lot of tense muscles to be worked on) and the oil was like no ‘sex oil’ I’d dealt with. It felt soft and smooth, lasted a hell of a long time and smelt lovely.


Due to the position, I assumed nothing much would be going in. It never has done before in that position. But he worked slowly on the outside and for the first time I had a strange tingling sensation radiating from my outer ring, over the whole of my ass, down my thighs and up to my shoulders. Once I was used to it and properly allowed myself to experience it, my ass relaxed a little and a very pleasant throbbing began.


This was His first chance to get a good poke around since I was relaxed and there was no discomfort. The only problem was sharp nails.


To prove how relaxed my ass was, I got up onto my hands and knees and allowed Him to play with the geisha plug properly for the first time. I introduced Him to the tricks I’d learnt with solo play, including the angle to tilt the plug at the start, how spinning it feels very nice and how you can wiggle it a bit.


Before this, I was able to get the plug in fully once. At the widest part, it wasn’t 100% comfortable. This time there was no friction or tension.


In the end I was able to take a good amount of our icicles glass plug – more than I’ve ever taken. We were both calmer, happier, and felt closer.
There will be no more solo training.

Hungry for pain




I like a lot of things a great deal. Bondage, sleeping and cheesecake. Yet nothing creates a deep hunger like the thought of pain caused by Him. It is my therapy. It is my safety. It’s my quickest way to sub space and it’s beautiful. The trust it shows is a constant reminder that I am His and He is mine. He does it because He loves me. He does it to help me. He does it because He’s a sadist.

Face slapping, boob, ass and thigh grabbing, manhandling in any area, hair pulling, biting and finally spanking. I want it all. But the marks are the icing on the cake. Something to remember that moment by.

Written for Wicked Wednesday.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Squirting? Not yet

Squirting has been on our to do list for some time yet I’m not there yet. Why?


Reason one: Patience


I know it takes patience. I have read about it. I have written about it. But it’s still something I’m lacking. When I’m aroused enough to be able to get in the general area of squirting I get bored of waiting and slow build up and just want to get fucked.


Reason two: Time


I also know it takes time. The build up – at least for me – appears very slow since I cum quickly from other methods. This doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong, but simply that I’m trying to push it too quickly and end up in a horrible predicament. When I rush it, I have all the pre squirting signs but I can’t go past that point. I can’t cum in any way by then and it aches. It’s not fun so I’ve accidentally ended up just not trying at all.


Reason three: Fear


Naturally afraid of new things whether I want to do them or not, fear plays a big part. Fear means we don’t relax our bodies or our minds and both need to be calm when trying to squirt. I’m also afraid of not managing it and when I don’t I feel disappointed in myself and like I’m a disappointment to Him. I’m afraid of making a mess on the bed.


Reason four: Practice


Practice means doing something over and over. To get better. To achieve your goal. But I like quick results or at least being able to see that I’m getting better. I don’t see or feel that with squirting.


Reason five: Awkwardness


It’s hard for me to relax enough around Him. This is the same for anal training and I do it solo for the most part right now. But with squirting, I don’t want the first time to be a solo affair. I want Him to cause it. That just means I have to get over my shyness.


Reason six: Awareness
The last and most annoying reason. I’m thinking about it. All the time.

Silver lining of the day? Practicing pushing out like everyone tells you to when you’re about to cum and trying to squirt makes Him cum super hard and that’s always a good thing.